On a previous post I gave what I thought were the two most obvious and devastating consequences when a married man struggles with pornography. For this post, I want us to consider the two most obvious and devastating ramifications for a Christian single man.
One of the most obvious consequences is how pornography perverts a single man’s understanding of God’s good purpose for sex in marriage. God said that it was not good for man to be alone (Gen. 2:18). Man has a God-given desire to have a helper, companion, and lover in a wife, and this desire is good. Specifically, sexual desires from this one flesh union (Gen. 2:24) are to be fulfilled and enjoyed solely and completely in a wife (Prov. 5:19). This is affirmed in many places in the Bible, including an entire book (Song of Solomon) dedicated to the enjoyment and pleasure that is to be experienced between a husband and wife within the confines of marital intimacy.
Yet, if someone continually fills their mind and heart with a perversion of God’s truth like viewing pornography does, he will eventually believe and apply that perversion. Pornography causes men to see women simply as objects for their own pleasure and not beautiful human beings who are to be cherished, honored, and respected. The longer a man exposes himself to an evil, selfish perversion of God’s design for sex, the more likely that man will bring that understanding into bed with his wife and not experience what God has intended for a husband and wife. This misunderstanding also inevitably leads to the naivety of most men to think that this struggle suddenly vanishes once married.
Another harmful consequence to a single man’s struggle is the deep frustration and discontentment that ultimately accompanies any attempt to allow sin to replace that which only God can satisfy. C.S. Lewis affirmed this truth in saying:
All that we call human history–money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery–[is] the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy.
If a single man seeks satisfaction in pornography and masturbation instead of Christ, he will be in bondage to sin’s empty promises and never experience the joy that only comes from walking with the Savior and treasuring him most. May the Lord give every single brother in Christ the confidence and self-control to believe God’s promises for him as he awaits that wife who will captive him by her love (Proverbs 5:15-20).