My post a few weeks back on what might be a surprising way to love your wife, brought requests of other additional questions that could be good discussion starters for a husband and wife. One request came from a dear pastor friend of mine preparing for a special vacation with his wife and wanted to engage her in some fruitful discussion while on it. Here is what I sent him and thought I would make it available to those of you who were requesting other questions of a similar spirit.
Here are 10 additional questions that husbands can and should be asking their wives if they desire to study, learn, and understand how to best love and care for them. You will notice some are more specific for a pastor and his wife.
- What can I do to make you feel loved and appreciated by me?
- What can I do to make you feel like I enjoy being with you more than anyone else?
- What are some things I can do to encourage you, spiritually?
- What can I do to help relieve the stress of life responsibilities?
- How can I best serve you in dealing with our children?
- What can I do to heighten your desire for physical intimacy?
- What can I do to make you feel our family is the priority over ministry?
- What can I do to help you grow in a love to serve our church?
- What kinds of moments when our family is together do you cherish the most?
- What do you love most about serving in ministry together? Greatest challenge?
Husbands and pastors, I hope these questions provoke much helpful and fruitful discussions that will lead you to a greater love and enjoyment of the wife of your youth as well as to equip you to love her in such a way that she feels loved and care for.

Great post – I forwarded this to my wife and her first question was “Where are the questions that I can ask you?” – Any insight on some questions that pastor’s wives might be able to ask to help them grow in their abilities to support their husband?
Thanks!
Great idea. I will think on it and possibly post it soon.
Right on…These questions are part of what I call “The Warrior Principle”…loving your wife all day every day in a way that generates a physical attraction and appreciation, but more importantly creates a strong spiritual bond that cannot be messed with. You’ll wake up asking yourself, “What can I due for my Bride today?” Makes all the difference.
These are really wonderful questions. Can I humbly suggest that there are many pastors (and laymen too) who are desperately in need of asking these questions, but won’t see them? Perhaps this can be filed away to email them right before Mother’s Day, or Christmas? The best present a lot of women might receive is to be asked these for the very first time.
Excellent! This brought a smile to my face when I saw my husband had this page up on our computer;) Thanks for sharing.
I, as well, just came to my husband’s computer and saw this page. Thanks, Brian, for ministering to ministers!
Glad it was helpful.