How can an aspiring pastor serve his wife before actually becoming the pastor?

Aspiring pastors are usually chomping at the bit to become pastors.  Rightly so.  Because of this, those aspiring to pastoral ministry often times dream to the future to one day serve in that capacity and miss some very significant ways he can serve his wife now that he cannot once he becomes the pastor preaching every week.  Here are a few of those ways:

1)  Sit with your wife in church every chance you get.  If you asked a pastor’s wife what she wants most for vacation, most will answer, “I want to sit with my husband during church.”  This is why you should not preach while on vacation.  If you are not regularly preaching on Sundays, do all you can to sit with your wife.  A day will come when you will not and you and your wife especially will be glad you once made that a priority.

2)  Stay home on Sunday with sick kids.  This is a wonderful way for any man to serve his wife when the kids are little.  In fact, one of our pastors modeled this well this past Sunday.  He sent his wife to church, while he stayed home with their sick kids so she could come hear the Word.  My wife ALWAYS stays home on Sundays when our kids are sick because I am preaching.  Until that day comes, serve your wife in these moments.  She will be grateful.

3)  Get up and down with the kids during the service.  One of the most overlooked roles of my wife in our church is that she is always dealing with our children by herself during the service.  Most husbands and wives are working together to deal with children sitting in the service, but not my wife.  She is doing it on her own so I can preach.  When you sit with your wife during the service, take initiative to deal with your kids, correct behavior problems, and answer their irrelevant questions asked in the middle of the sermon.  Be the one to take them out if necessary.  A day it coming when she will be flying solo on these things.

Aspiring pastors, I am glad you are anxious to dive into pastoral ministry.  You should.  It is a great joy to serve God’s people in the weekly public ministry of the Word.  However, do not allow your ambition for this work to cause you to miss some small, but practical ways your wife will feel very loved and care for by you now.

Actual Pastors, read this post with feelings of gratefulness for your wife.  She does so much on her own so we can do what God has called us to do.  Never underestimate how much she will appreciate a “thank you” from you in regard to these Sunday tasks with our kids that we easily take for granted.

Posted in Home and Family, Training for Ministry
3 comments on “How can an aspiring pastor serve his wife before actually becoming the pastor?
  1. Brian,

    This is great stuff! In case anyone is out there thinking this doesn’t apply to associate pastors who are not preaching every Sunday, think again. There are many ways I can busy myself on a Sunday morning and not have the opportunity to do these things. Take them to heart even if you are not the main teaching pastor of your church.

  2. Ian Shearer says:

    Even solo or senior pastors can do number 3 on occasion. We are a small congregation and normally don’t have a nursery for young children during evening service or special events. That usually falls to my wife, in part because they are mostly our kids. Whenever we have a missionary or some other guest speaking and I don’t have to be there, I usually take “my turn” in the nursery or I will sit at the back with the little ones. That way, when my son yells “I’m ready” from the bathroom loud enough for the whole church to hear, I am the one everyone looks at as I get up to go help with the TP. It’s not often that I can do that, but I know my wife appreciates it when I can.

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