How does a pastor shepherd a single person in his church who appears to place too much focus on physical appearance?

If you are a pastor shepherding a congregation with college students and other single folks, I know you are dealing with this question regularly.  I have dealt with it on several occasions in my church, counseled others outside my church, and addressed emails about it from those writing me through Practical Shepherding.  Therefore, what is the best way to answer this question?  Let someone else answer it!  Don’t worry, I am deferring to a very credible source and one who addresses these kinds of questions much better than I can, my older brother Scott Croft.  Lest, you think I am bias in my evaluations of my brother’s gifts in this regard, boundless.org seems to agree.

Scott has agreed to answer questions for them and publish his answers in articles on their website.  Because this is a question my brother is particularly passionate about and seems to cloud the judgment of so many well-meaning single folks in the church, I commend Scott and his very insightful answer to you.  Scott serves as an elder at Third Avenue Baptist Church and thinks like a pastor when it comes to these questions.  Scott’s answer contains so much of the biblical truth and wisdom we as pastors can take back to our similar situations in our church as both men and women seek to find a mate.

Here is the question this young lady asked boundless that was deferred to Scott:

 How can you tell the difference between settling for someone or tearing down your unrealistic expectations of marriage and romance?

Read Scott’s answer in this article and be biblically informed for your particular situation:

If he’s not my picture-perfect guy, should we still marry?

Posted in Oversight of Souls

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