There are so many different kinds of people in the local church who provide a helpful service for the pastors to care for elderly widows, but I have found a specific group that shows to be especially valuable. It is a group in the church that often “flies under the radar” in regard to being called upon to play such a role. Yet, this group possesses particular qualities that show to be very useful to the pastors and meaningful to widows, especially older widows. This group of folks in the church…
“Stay at home moms”
Here are 4 reasons why this unique group of ladies seem to be especially fruitful in this type of ministry:
1) Availability: Although stay at home moms are typically on a set schedule when their kids are little, this provides open times for them to go and visit widows and take their children with them at a time that is convenient. This schedule also provides open slots of availability during the day, which is typically the best time to visit elderly widows.
2) Kids bless widows: One the greatest gifts you can give an elderly widow is to take a child with you to visit them. Most elderly widows love children. Many of them have children of their own who maybe live far away, which means visits from children and grandchildren are infrequent. They love to just watch a child. Talk to them. Play with them. Hear you tell stories about them. Interacting with a child often becomes an elderly widow’s most precious and memorable weekly moment.
3) An opportunity for a younger woman to care for an older woman: Elderly widows appreciate care from anyone in the church, but they seem to love to be especially cared for by other younger women. Not sure if it is the feeling of a daughter’s care, or what, but my experience shows a clear meaningful distinction from visits by young mothers than any others.
4) An opportunity for an older woman to instruct and encourage the younger: On the flip side, these interactions provide an opportunity for a young mom to potentially gain wise instruction from an older mom. We have an elderly widow in her mid-nineties who had 7 children (one set of twins). As you can imagine, this woman is an endless resource of wisdom and insight for young moms. Young moms should love to learn from these kinds of ladies. These elderly widows love their many years of experience to be utilized to serve Christ’s people.
Pastors, so often we hesitate to call upon stay at home moms because of the stress and challenges that come with this noble, godly task. Yet, I encourage you to see their value by assisting you in this role and the personal benefit they will receive from it.
Stay at home moms, you play a most important role and don’t allow anyone to demean this noble, God-honoring calling. Yet, I pray that you will see serving elderly widows as a way to remove yourself out of a daily life that can become inwardly focused and seize a wonderful opportunity to use your gifts, time, and resources (children) to serve a dear elderly saint in your church. I am confident if you will make the time and step out of your comfort zone to engage in caring for elderly widows, you will be as encouraged as that widow will be by the gift of your fellowship.
I am honestly really confused/conflicted about this post. I have four (and counting) small children, who are not even particularly rambunctious, and it has been my experience that older women are some of children’s harshest critics, frequently expressing their delight at being done with them, their annoyance at their grandchildren, how exhausting children are to be around, and openly telling me I’m “crazy” to have more than the requisite two. And yet there are posts like this one, and I have heard this from other quarters–never from the older women themselves, who have never once suggested that they would enjoy a visit from my little brood. I agree that this is a ministry that could totally fit well with *our* lives, but I’ve always gotten the clear impression that it would not be welcomed.
Practical suggestions for finding older women who would actually like children? Has anyone done this and had it actually work? How do you get started?
Excellent questions! I would start with you personally building some relationships with older ladies. Through that, you will discover those ladies who like little kids. Also, observe the older ladies at church who seek the children out, not run from them. Observe with that eye, you may be surprised at what you might find. Then, start with those ladies.
I hope that helps. A great question to ask.
As a young stay-at-home mom, this really encouraged and challenged me! What a unique opportunity God has given me to a ministry I haven’t thought much of…before excusing myself from it, that is. Thanks for posting!
Sweet idea.