Sweet Relief
By Cara Croft
Since March we have been living in a time of uncertainty. Disrupted lives, changes in schedule, and even everyday tasks look different than before. There have been many things to grieve in all of this. Sickness and death of loved ones, loss of once in a lifetime activities such as graduations and marriage ceremonies. We have heard much about topics such as how to handle anxiety, grief over the losses, how to connect with others, even how to homeschool our children. I am aware that in the church we have had to grieve the change in gathering together and the grief of missing our Sunday morning services. Yet I am struck that maybe not all of us feel this way.
As a pastor’s wife, while I understand the sadness of not meeting with our congregations, I have to admit that I have also felt a sense of relief. Maybe some of you do too, or maybe not, I am just being honest with my feelings right now (and those feelings have been proven to change daily in all of this). Relief has come in the form of not having to do the same crazy Sunday morning ritual. You know, the routine of trying to get kids dressed, fed, and out the door in time to make it to church. The routine of sitting in the pew alone while our husbands are preaching. The routine of fielding all of the pre and post church questions and concerns. The routine of facing the weekly expectations. The routine of conflicts and heated members meetings. The disruption to this routine feels relieving.
It is not just Sunday mornings. There have been no late night hospital visitations, no funerals, no weddings, no visiting church members, no meetings (except maybe over Zoom), no potlucks and no having people over to our homes. While some of that is a loss it also brings relief. We suddenly have time. Time to be with our families not wondering when the next crisis might occur. We have time to sit together as a family on Sunday mornings, even though it is through streaming a service. We have time to eat meals as a family. We have time.
Maybe instead of looking at this season as a time of only loss and inconvenience (and it is both of those things), we could also see this as a season of rest and relief. Rest from the hectic pace of our normal lives. Relief from the burdens and responsibilities we normally carry. A time to rest our souls, minds and bodies. And if you are a mom with small kids (or big kids for that matter), show this to your husband. Remind him to rest too, you both need it. Take time to sit outside, feel the breeze on your face, smell the flowers (take your allergy medicine first), and relax your bodies. Let what you have been carrying, all the roles you have been playing, melt away and enjoy a season where we have unexpected rest and relief. There will still be sadness and grief. There will be a longing to gather with our church families again, but there can be both rest and longing simultaneously. Let us not experience one and neglect the other.
Cara Croft is wife to Brian, mother to 4 adult/teenage children, and currently finishing her Master's degree in Christian Counseling. She enjoys counseling, reading, and growing in learning to care for the suffering. Cara is also the Women’s Ministry Director at Practical Shepherding.