Don’t be THAT guy!
By Matt Walker
Fresh out of seminary, I accepted my first senior pastorate at a rural church in a small town with no stoplights—a standard of measure in a town that size. Small towns certainly have perks that come with everyone knowing everything about everyone. But, when it came to actually getting to know people around town, my wife and I were still outsiders.
What I didn’t know was that from the moment we arrived in town, I was a marked man. A couple of months after accepting the position, I walked into the local post office and introduced myself to the postal clerk. Her first words to me were: “oh, you’re the new pastor at the church where the pastor was hauled off by the feds!”
Wait, what??!
She proceeded to tell me that a few years earlier, during the Sunday evening service, a black sedan drove through town, stopping at the church building (complete with black trench coats), interrupted the service, and arrested the pastor. He had been hiding out in this rural town while being sought by the FBI. Suddenly, the ministry challenges in that small town were multiplied for years to come because of THAT guy.
Who is THAT guy?
THAT guy is the pastor who destroyed not only his reputation with outsiders but the reputation of Christ and His Church. You may not be THAT guy, but we all face increased scrutiny of our message and decreased respect in ministry because of THAT guy.
Many of us interact with people who have had their view of the pastorate or the church impacted by THAT guy, especially in the wake of continued, public pastoral scandals. While such scandals follow a failure in any number of the elder qualifications given in scripture, we must not overlook the last one in the list of 1 Timothy 3, because far too many evangelistic opportunities have been lost and attitudes soured towards Christ and His church because pastors have neglected what it means to be “well thought of by outsiders” (1 Tim 3:7). Paul adds significant weight to this qualification in the next chapter when he commands Timothy to “keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by doing so you will save both yourself and your hearers” (1 Tim 4:16).
I’m thankful for the increased emphasis on sound doctrine and teaching by many pastors over the past few decades, but we must also keep a close watch on our lives and consider the outcome even years from now. Brothers, how we live our lives before a watching world matters—not only for your own soul but for the sake of the souls around you.
How not to be THAT guy
Obviously, we must begin with keeping our lives free from sin but we must also seek to keep our conduct among the world honorable (1 Pet 2:12). Maintaining honorable conduct doesn’t merely mean morally pure and ethically good. We must live our lives with a beauty and attractiveness that commends our lives to others and points them to our Savior.
Regularly ask a simple question: when someone outside of the church learns you’re a pastor does your conduct make them want to know more about Jesus and his Bride?
Three Simple Ways to Foster a Good Reputation with Outsiders
1) Pay your bills and avoid debt
I’ve lost count of how many small business owners have shared with me that they stopped doing work for pastors because pastors are more likely to not pay their bill. Brothers, we must set an example for the flock and “pay to all what is owed to them” (Rom 13:7). Someone may show kindness by loaning you something because they respect the office of pastor, but if you take advantage of that kindness for too long, they may grow resentful and lose the respect. Avoid owing anything to anyone, but if you must, pay it quickly.
2) Treat others with kindness and respect
Go out of your way to show kindness to anyone and everyone you meet. Ask the server at the restaurant how you can pray for them before your meal (and don’t forget to tip well!). Shovel snow on your neighbor’s driveway, mow their lawn, take them a meal, ask how you can pray for them. The specific applications here are unending.
3) Look for ways to engage your community
God gave my wife and I an incredible inroad into the small town community when I joined the local volunteer fire department. We formed many relationships in the community that outlasted our time at that church and led previously unchurched families to attend. Think about areas of interest, hobbies, or affiliations you could leverage for community connections? A running group, book club, a local coffee shop where you always work? Take donuts to places such as the local school, fire department, or police station and introduce yourself. Serve on committees, boards, and other community service organizations.
Don’t overlook the simple, obvious means of grace to live honorably and have a good reputation with outsiders. May we all be known by the world like Ananias is described in Acts 22:12: “well spoken of by all the Jews who lived there.”
One final thought: the next time you interview with a church, you may want to ask more questions about the previous pastors, and don’t forget to stop by the post office.
Matt Walker
Matt has pastored churches in Iowa and Indiana for over 20 years, most recently serving as Senior Pastor of Geist Community Church in McCordsville, IN since 2009. He earned a degree in Mechanical Engineering from Purdue University and a Th.M. from Dallas Theological Seminary. Matt also serves the community as a fire department chaplain and on the board of Indianapolis Theological Seminary. He and his wife, Anna, have been happily married since 2002 and they have two teenagers.