Do You Need a Ministry Mentor?

By Liz Roy

The day-to-day grind of ministry can, at times, prove exhausting, futile, and hopeless. Sometimes the very people we disciple and mentor choose to follow their own way instead of following the Lord. In these moments, we, too, seem to lose our footing on the rock of Christ, and we become embittered towards the very people entrusted to our care.

Family and ministry life can often get so intertwined they become indistinguishable. Dinner conversation revolves around church people. Date nights turn into planning sessions. Prayers are focused on the saints of the church. Your husband is your pastor. But your pastor isn’t your husband. He seems to have left the house a long time ago. 

Your child is engaged in a stronghold of sin. You don’t know how to ask for help or to whom you should turn. You can’t express your fears and anxiety to those closest to you. Not because you fear what others will think of your parenting, but because you choose not to share intimate details of your children’s battles. 

People are leaving the church. You overheard some of their reasons, and you are hurt. You are concerned for your husband as he has to humbly listen to criticism about his leadership. You want to fight back against the attacks and defend him. If people only understood how hard it is to lead then maybe they wouldn’t be so quick to be critical of every detail of your husband’s guidance. 

People look at you as the bright and happy pastor’s wife. You’re involved in the life of the church and seem to have it all together. But, inside you are suffering from burnout and dullness in your relationship with the Lord. You have become so busy doing for Jesus instead of taking the time of being with Jesus. 

Maybe one of these scenarios resonates with you. Or, perhaps, you have your own story that is weighing on your heart. Ministry wives often don’t know where to seek help outside of their church body. Jesus doesn’t seem very involved with the details of your life and you may feel isolated and left to your own defenses. The days can feel dark and gloomy and suffocating. You may ask yourself, “If God is for me, and He weeps with me in my sorrows and disappointments, then why do I feel so discouraged and hopeless?” 

Practical Shepherding Women offers mentoring services from ministry mentors. We are pastors’ wives and women in ministry who are ready to come alongside you in your time of need. You can begin meeting with one of our female mentors for 6-8 weeks. During this time we want to hear the burdens you are carrying. Each mentor has her own God-given gifting and abilities and will use the time in a way that she prayerfully considers will be beneficial to your soul. We might ask you to meditate on specific scriptures or read a passage and discuss it the next week. Your mentor will seek to step back and give a biblical perspective on your trial.  A mentor commits to pray for you and with you. 

As mentors, our response isn’t to “preach” to you, but to point you to our all-sufficient Christ in the midst of your trials and burdens. We want to extend God’s love and comfort in your confusion and doubts. We hope to offer you a place to rest your weary soul, and at the same time encourage you towards forgiveness and reconciliation with the difficult church member. In the midst of a tidal wave of emotional letdowns with your husband our desire is to anchor you in the deep truth of a sovereign, wise and loving God. We want to help you cultivate a greater love for Jesus than for the sin you have been hiding. We seek to put Jesus on display and say hard things, but with gentleness and compassion. As a mentor, we don’t want your encounter to be with us, but we want you to encounter Jesus and His radical and transforming grace. 

If you are interested in being paired with a ministry mentor at no cost to you, please email us: kcarmackps@gmail.com. We would love to come alongside you as you serve the Lord!


Liz Roy is a pastor’s wife in Louisville, KY where she serves alongside her husband in their northeast Louisville church plant. She finds great joy in shepherding the women of her church and caring for their souls. She and her husband, Jay, have been married for 28 years; they have two daughters and one grandchild on the way. In her free time, Liz enjoys discipleship, writing, taking walks with her husband, running, and Earl Grey tea with cream. Liz serves as a volunteer mentor for Practical Shepherding Women.

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