Encouraging One Another in the Church
By Kellye Carmack
There are many conversations in my life that I wish I could erase from my memory. Whether it’s because of something foolish I said, or something hurtful that was said to me, there have been words spoken between me and another that I wish I could just forget.
One conversation stands out above the others as one of the worst. I was on staff at a church as a Women’s Ministry Coordinator, and I was navigating how to lead women who had several different opinions of what a good women’s ministry should look like. One woman in particular was not happy, and I knew it because several others had given me a heads up that she had expressed her disappointment in my work. I knew the conversation was coming, but I wasn’t prepared. The time came when she stood across from me and, with intense passion in her voice, listed all the things she considered to be my failures, one after another after another. My voice quivered as I thanked her for her suggestions and made a quick and awkward exit.
Both the harshest criticism I have received and the harshest criticism I have given have occurred within the church. We can be tempted to tear one another down in the name of accountability, perhaps thinking we can “fix” someone by bringing every flaw to their attention. Leaders in the church are a target for such criticism. Many in the church take full license to rip their pastors and leaders apart. There are, of course, times when we need to gently restore those who are in sin, and to be a faithful friend, we must be willing to challenge one another (see Gal. 6:1, Prov. 27:6). However, if calling out sin is our priority in relationships, then we create a bitter and discouraged culture in our church. If you regularly function as an accuser, you are not a friend, but a pharisee. When Christians criticize one another, we destroy the very thing that God wants to build up. When we tear down a member of our church, we are not just hurting that individual, we are tearing down the body of which they are a member.
Criticism tears down, but encouragement builds up.
Scripture exhorts us numerous times to be encouragers, especially among believers (see 1 Thess. 5:11-14, Hebr. 10:25, Rom. 12:8). I don’t know why we don’t encourage each other more. We all want and need regular encouragement. And what a joy it is to be the one who strengthens another through edifying words! How can we become a more encouraging people? We can start by praying and asking God who He wants us to encourage. Ask Him to show you the people in your church who need encouragement. Do you know someone who is fainthearted? Encourage them. Is someone serving and sacrificing their time? Encourage them. Did someone lead a small group or a Bible study? Instead of pointing out what they could have done better, encourage them. Do you want your church leaders to thrive? Encourage them.
Look at those in your church and ask God to show you His creative beauty in their lives. Encourage them with what He shows you. Sincere encouragement can breathe life into your church body. What are some ways that you are being encouraged in your church or ministry? What can you do today to be an encourager in your church?
Kellye is the Women’s Ministry Director for Practical Shepherding Women’s Ministry. She has an undergraduate degree in Biblical Studies and a master’s degree in Biblical Counseling. She served as a missionary in Western Europe for two years, helping to share the hope of Christ with women in difficult situations. Kellye met her husband, Craig, in seminary and they have been married for 8 years. She loves helping women discover the unique ways God has gifted them to serve the church.