Nurturing Your Soul: How to Spiritually Thrive as a Pastor’s Wife in Busy Times
By Tessa McGilbra
The smell of freshly made popcorn hung in the air. It was family movie night. As we got ready to settle in, I couldn’t stop thinking about just one more thing I needed to do. If I just finish up this last task, then I could finally relax. It had been like this for a while. Balancing life as a wife, wearing mom and work hats, and being a pastor’s wife didn’t leave much time to spare. Between getting our son ready for senior year, planning ministry events, meeting work deadlines, and supporting women in the church, my to-do list seemed to have a life of its own. I had gotten so comfortable being in do mode that I didn’t realize I had slipped into the trap of busyness. Sure, the things I was doing were good—important, even—but looking back, I can’t help but wonder if everything I was doing was truly motivated by love for God or simply by the pressure to keep up.
That evening turned into one of those moments that made me stop to reconsider the posture of my heart. I can laugh now, because honestly, finishing a load of laundry never had a more serious consequence. In my rush to get it done, I slipped on the stairs and suddenly found myself sidelined with a fractured ankle. As painful (and slightly ridiculous) as it was, it was also a wake-up call from the Lord, ushering me into a season of forced rest. The injury slowed me down in ways I didn’t expect, but in the end, I was surprised by what I learned and how necessary it was.
Sitting in the emergency room, still processing everything that had happened, I found myself pausing to ask…what needs to change? Had I created a life pace that allowed me to hear God clearly? Was I trying to bear fruit on my own as I tried to "be all things"? I was confronted with looking at the activities that filled my day to determine if I was confusing doing for God as intimacy with Him.
While suffering is not God’s ultimate plan for us, it can bring meaningful purpose. I was in physical pain. I went from moving about freely to being unable to drive or do much unassisted for two months. Over time the sensation of pain reminded me that we’re not merely meant to be moved out of suffering but are to be changed through it. The slower pace provided time to break free from activity and invite God’s closeness. God helped me peel back the layers of my own character to rediscover how I can best experience the fruits of the spirit while redefining how to live out my calling as a pastor’s wife.
Living with God’s love at the center is such a beautiful thing, but it’s not always easy. I, like you, can easily get swept up into the constant hustle of ministry. Admittedly, even the good things we pursue can create conflict with the time we need to study and rest in God’s Word. It’s like a tug-of-war, with the demands of daily life pulling one way and the stillness God calls me to pull in the other. Before I know it, I’ve scheduled my day with everything else, and the time I need with God gets squeezed out.
We often forget that our true identity is in Christ and not in the things we do. When we lose sight of that and aren’t fully connected to Him, pride, people-pleasing, and self-interest can sneak in. And when that happens, it can leave us feeling off track, as though we’re carrying the weight of ministry alone. I lived that. Overwhelmed and stretched thin. I knew I couldn’t keep pushing forward in the same way. I had to step back and lean into God’s promises, acknowledging that without Him, my abilities fall short. It’s only through His power that I’m able to do the work He’s called me to do.
When we pour out without taking time to refill, burnout is bound to happen. Yes, we’re called to serve, but we’re also called to nourish our own relationship with God—a truth we can miss, especially when the work feels endless. The reality though, is that our strength has limits. It’s never perfect. When we admit we can’t do it all and tap into the strength God provides, we unlock the support we truly need.
That’s why staying grounded in Scripture is so important—it points us to who God is and shows us who we are in Him, while giving us the strength we need for the work and challenges ahead. By staying rooted in His Word, we’re reminded of our commitment to serve God with discipline, loyalty, and courage—just like a soldier serving their country. 2 Timothy 2:3-4 says: “Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets entangled in the concerns of civilian life; he seeks to please the commanding officer.” We’re called to be soldiers. Verses like this help anchor us, calling us back to our purpose and reminding us that we’re not here to chase approval, meet every demand, or just stay busy. Our mission is to please God, our Commander.
I needed to see myself as more than a soldier. Being a soldier is just part of the journey. The unique demands of ministry life require me to drink deep and receive from the Lord before I can ever do the work of the Lord. I had to remember that God calls us to wholeness, worship, and oneness with Him. Soldier is just one lens. Before anything else we are children of God and invited into intimate relationships. God doesn’t just want our service, He wants our hearts.
When it comes to time in God’s Word, it’s about what God wants for you rather than what He wants from you. I was encouraged as I was reminded that God is all about pouring into us, not just asking from us. I had again come to see how much it matters to stay close to Him and to make space for what truly fills my soul. When we’re walking closely with God, we can live out our calling as pastor’s wives with strength and grace—like soldiers for the Lord—while still tending to our spiritual, emotional, and relational well-being.
There’s no denying that being a soldier for God has its tough moments. I felt this deeply during that season. The shift for me came when I started focusing on His strength and promises. That’s when peace began to take over and the pressure started to fade. He equips me for what’s ahead (2 Timothy 3:17) and walks with me in every battle (Isaiah 41:10). I’m not fighting alone—His power, protection, and promises are with me. The victory is already His!
So the real question is: how can we intentionally make space for God’s Word and prayer in our daily routines? With so many demands on our time, what can we do to maintain a consistent focus on growing spiritually?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but here are a few tips that might make your journey a little easier:
HAVE A PLAN
When I don’t have a plan for my Bible study, I tend to lose focus. I bounce from passage to passage, and by the end, feel like I didn’t get anything worthwhile out of it. When we approach Scripture with some intention, it changes things. It doesn’t mean following a rigid checklist or putting pressure on yourself to “get it right.” It just means being thoughtful about how we’re spending the time and creating a plan that actually works for us. Just like a soldier wouldn’t go into battle without the right gear, we shouldn’t step into life’s challenges without being spiritually prepared.
EASY TIP: Before I decide what to study, I always start with prayer—asking the Lord to guide me and give direction. Then I take a moment to think about what I’m hoping to get out of the study. Am I looking to deepen my understanding of Scripture? Grow spiritually? Or find practical wisdom for everyday life? Once I know my goal, I choose my approach. Sometimes that means diving into a whole book of the Bible, and other times it looks like studying a specific topic or theme that’s relevant to what I’m walking through.
BONUS TIP: Choose a book of the bible that you want to camp out in this semester. Download it from Youversion: https://www.youversion.com/.
START NOW
When we disconnect - we wither and die, either from attacks from the outside or malnourishment from the inside. Temptation, fear, and discouragement are some of the enemy’s go-to tactics to weaken us spiritually. When we’re struggling, it’s easy to start questioning God’s goodness, His promises, or even His presence in our lives. Forgetting that I am fully equipped when I walk without self-reliance but in the Spirit was a big lesson. But like a soldier standing guard, I learned we have to stay alert and resist those attacks. Just as soldiers train, prepare, and fight with purpose, we’re called to be spiritually vigilant. Our best weapon? God’s Word.
EASY TIP: For me, early mornings are often the most peaceful time to connect with God. I usually try to wake up about 30 minutes before my family so I can have that quiet space for myself and the Lord. During this time, I focus on personal devotion—reading Scripture, spending time in prayer, and just being still. Sometimes I’ll read a chapter from Proverbs, then take a few minutes to journal my honest reflections. I’ll jot down how the passage speaks to me, what situations in my life it might connect to, and how I can live it out in my day-to-day decisions and interactions. Starting my day this way really helps set the tone. It centers me, grounds me in truth, and reminds me that I don’t walk through the day alone.
BONUS TIP: Use the Bible Memory App: https://biblememory.com/ as an aid to help you meditate on and memorize scripture. Memory verse cards can be accessed right from your phone, tablet or laptop.
START SMALL
Starting small means starting where you are. The beauty of starting small is connected to the heart. Our spiritual muscles are built by consistent exercise over time. If you aren't spending time with the Lord right now, find a chunk TODAY. If you are, but it's sporadic, make it regular. If it's regular but it isn't rich, look at another way you can invest in this important relationship. Just like a soldier trains consistently to grow stronger and more disciplined, we too must strengthen our spiritual muscles daily to stand firm in our faith.
So, where can you find a consistent chunk of time that is uninterrupted and quiet?
EASY TIP: Using the text as a journal prompt ask yourself questions such as:
What do the Gospels tell me about Jesus’ humility in serving others and how can I apply this teaching when serving alongside my husband in ministry?
How can I use the truths in this Psalm to model faith and trust in God for others?
In my role as a pastor’s wife, how can I apply the wisdom of Proverbs in my interactions with the church community?
BONUS TIP: Bookend your day by reading a chapter of Proverbs in the morning and a chapter of Psalms at night.
After your reading, take a moment to write down one or two practical action steps you can take based on what you've read. Then, close your time by turning those reflections into a prayer. Talk to God about what stood out, what you're feeling, and invite Him to work in those areas of your life.
As you continue journaling, revisit past entries from time to time. Pay attention to how your thoughts, emotions, and spiritual understanding have changed. Seeing that progress laid out in your own words can be a powerful reminder of how God is working in you—day by day, little by little.
Ministry has shown me both beauty and complexity—sometimes all at once. As pastor’s wives, our greatest strength comes from God’s Word, but only when we saturate ourselves with it. Just like soldiers fuel their bodies with training, food, and rest, we nourish our souls through Scripture to stay spiritually prepared.
You and I aren’t walking this road alone. Soldiers don’t face battles by themselves, and we’re not meant to carry this journey on our own. Our lives in Christ are closely tied to the unique calling God has placed on us as pastor’s wives. So let’s keep drawing near to Him—making space for prayer, time in His Word, and moments of worship. It’s in His strength and steady presence that we find the courage to keep going, standing firm in His love and truth, no matter what comes our way.
About the Author:
Tessa serves alongside her husband, Michael, who is the Associate Pastor at New Breed Church in Louisville, Kentucky. As she walks with God, she’s reminded of His faithfulness, knowing everything He does is purposeful and prepares her for what’s ahead. She’s served in both small and large churches—church planting, directing VBS, leading in youth and women’s ministry, and coordinating events and speakers—while also working outside the home and raising two kids. Encouraging other ministry wives is close to her heart, and she loves creating space for honest conversations, mutual support, and helping them grow in their calling.
