God Will Give Us More: Our Unfulfilled Desires in Ministry
By Kellye Carmack
A few days ago, my husband and I took our five year old foster daughter to a water park that had a large, shallow pool surrounded by fountains and swirling water slides. It was like an oasis in the middle of the brutal summer heat. Our sweet girl squealed with pure joy as she splashed around in the cool water. At first, she was scared to go down the slides, but eventually she mustered up some courage and slowly inched down the smallest slide. After that, she was hooked. She spent the next few hours going from one slide to another, throwing her arms up in the air and letting out a loud “whoo hoo!” with each trip down. We loved watching the joy it gave her.
When it was time to go, we gave her a notice every few minutes that we would soon be heading home. She wasn’t happy, and we could tell it might be hard to get her out of the water. On the last notice, my husband told her that she could go down each slide one more time before leaving, something that would have easily meant ten more minutes of playtime. She immediately protested, “I want one more minute to play! Just one more minute!” My husband calmly tried to explain that what he was offering was much better, but she would not hear it. After a few minutes, He ended up carrying her out of the water park as she screamed, “Just give me one more minute! You’re breaking my heart!” I followed close behind them, juggling all our stuff and trying not to care what people thought of us as we carried a screaming child through the park. As we walked, I started thinking about how I feel when God doesn’t give me what I ask for. I started to wonder:
When I beg God for the desires of my heart, could He be offering something better that I can’t see? Does He want to give me bread, but I unknowingly insist on a stone?
I’ve had a lot of experience with unmet desires, with years of praying and longing but not receiving. Like our foster child, I’ve known what I wanted, and it has looked so good. I’ve been certain it would be the best thing for me, and I have been angry with God for not agreeing with me. I’ve spent a good bit of time trying to interpret and understand my losses through the lens of Scripture. I’ve put a lot of energy into figuring out the why’s and the why not’s of my unfulfilled petitions before God. After years in the reformed church, my default thinking is to assume God doesn’t care about my desires. The emphasis in the teaching I have heard for many years is that God cares about His glory and that He will do whatever He wants with me to accomplish His plans. There’s truth in that, and nothing matters more or brings us more joy than God being glorified in our lives, no matter how much suffering it takes. However, over the last few years I’ve realized that some truths, accurate as they may be, can take up too much space in our lives, leaving little room for what is also true.
As we pulled out of the parking lot, our five-year-old still crying that she didn’t get her way, my husband commented, “I wish she had listened to me. I really wanted her to enjoy the park a little longer.” His words nudged me into a truth that I discarded years ago: God loves me, and if He loves me, He cares about joy. I had tossed it aside when I couldn’t figure out where it fit into the image of the sovereign and serious God I heard about in books and sermons. As we drove home, I picked it back up and held onto it as I savored Jesus’s words, “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11) If we love seeing joy in our children, how much more does our Heavenly Father delight when He hears our laughter? Think of how your heart swells when you give your child that gift they have been wanting for so long. How much more does God, in His perfect love, delight in giving good gifts to His children?
When you think about your ministry or current church situation, how many of your desires have gone unfulfilled? How often has God said “no” or “not yet” to your pleas for unity, salvation, growth, or just a good friend to sit next to you in the pew? It’s easy to get discouraged when our petitions for a fruitful ministry are seemingly denied. And if we’re being honest, they often are. How do you receive it when you pray for good things in your church, but God says “no”? Instead of being consumed with what you didn’t receive, stop and ask God, “What have you given me instead?” He not only knows what we need, He knows what would bring us great joy. Remember, when you pray for your desires in ministry, you are praying to a Father who loves you deeply. His love is better than that of any earthly Father, and Jesus said He will give us even more.
Kellye is the Women’s Ministry Director for Practical Shepherding Women’s Ministry. She has an undergraduate degree in Biblical Studies and a master’s degree in Biblical Counseling. She served as a missionary in Western Europe for two years helping to share the hope of Christ with women in difficult situations. While in seminary, she met her husband Craig who is an associate pastor at their church in Louisville, KY. She loves helping women discover the unique ways God has gifted them to serve the church.