How to Love Your Church Through Letters
Glenna Marshall
A few weeks ago, I gathered with a couple of friends from church for a movie night to watch a film based on an epistolary novel we’d all recently read and discussed. One of those friends is moving away soon, and after reading a novel that was written purely in a series of letters, we decided that we would write letters to stay in touch rather than text or email. “We’ll singlehandedly revive the lost art of letter-writing!” we declared. We laughed about it, but we were also serious. Letter-writing would require more time and intentionality, but it might work well to keep the friendships alive, too.
What is it about writing and receiving a letter that bears more weight than a text or email? Why take the time to pen words and mail them when we can simply call or tap out a few words that are instantaneously read? And how can something as seemingly simple as mailing a short note in the mail help us love our congregations better?
One of the most loving things you can do as a ministry wife is to pray for your church family regularly. Whether that looks like tucking a copy of the church directory into your Bible or making a list to help you pray for everyone on a regular basis, intentional intercession will keep the needs of your members before you while also engendering love and concern when you’re struggling to conjure up affection for your flock. I’ve found in my years as a pastor’s wife that one of the best ways to communicate my love and prayer to our church members is through a handwritten letter. What I’ve learned as a recipient of some faithful, encouraging letter-writers over the years is that there is much thoughtfulness and care put into the act of physical correspondence. A writer must pray and think through what she wants to say, take the time to pen it, address it, and mail it. In a culture of instant everything, I think it is the sacrifice of time that communicates love. Perhaps I’m mailing a letter to a church member who lives two streets over from me, but I can still sacrifice my time to communicate love and the ways I’ve prayed for them. And they can hold on to that encouragement for years to come, returning to it when they want a reminder that they are loved and prayed for. I know that I cherish and reread letters of encouragement that people have sent to me over the years. I feel their live years later when I hold their notes in my hands.
I want to walk you through a practical way of writing regular notes of care while being sensitive to what the Holy Spirit might be leading you to say or who He might be leading you to reach out to. As with any ministry endeavor, start small to avoid becoming overwhelmed.
Developing a Routine of Encouragement
On Sundays, I often make note of who is missing from corporate worship. If I know that someone is sick or out of town or going through a difficult time, this might be the impetus for writing a note to a particular person to let them know they’re missed. Or, I might notice someone who is faithfully present and joyful even though they’re walking through personal trials. Sometimes, though, I ask the Lord to help me think through who might need encouragement. I’m often surprised who comes to mind. Then, on Monday mornings, I make a list of 2-3 people based upon what I’ve observed, prayed over, or noted in conversations I had at church on Sunday. My goal, then, is to write a couple of notes of encouragement each week. To be honest, I’m more successful some weeks than others. I jot down the names of the recipients in my day planner and try to get my letters written and mailed before the end of the week. One helpful tip to help your church members know they’re loved is to note significant dates as yearly reminders on your calendar. Did someone lose a spouse or a child? Remind yourself of the anniversary of that loss a year from now so you can write a letter to let them know you’re praying for them on this significant date. Your smartphone calendar can be a real gift in this regard!
What to Say in a Letter of Encouragement
Maybe you’d like to reach out to hurting or discouraged church members, but you worry you won’t know what to say. You might not be a wordsmith or particularly strong on grammar. That’s okay! Encouragement matters more than eloquence. In years past, I’ve stumbled through a number of platitudes as I’ve wondered what to say that might be encouraging to someone who is struggling or lonely or ill, but ultimately, I’ve landed on the truth of Scripture as the best way to build up someone who needs it. Often, I read through some psalms before penning a letter, and pray them for the person I’m writing to. Then, when I’m ready to write, I can share a verse of Scripture I have specifically prayed for them. Other times, I share something I’ve studied in my own personal Bible reading.
I usually open my letter with a greeting, letting the recipient know I’ve missed them or have been thinking of them recently. I share what I’ve found to be encouraging in Scripture, how I have been praying for them (being specific when possible), and I close by reminding them of the Lord’s faithful love for them. Your note doesn’t have to be long to communicate care. Our goal in writing encouraging letters is to be kind, to show genuine love with family affection, to be constant in prayer, and to love those in need, as we are commanded in Romans 12. The simple act of writing a letter of encouragement can go far to let a church member know she is loved.
Being an epistolary encourager will require that you’re praying and reading Scripture yourself. You are not an encourager without the help of the Spirit. The well of encouragement from which you draw must be filled regularly. Saturate your own heart with truth so that you can comfort with the comfort with which you’ve been comforted (see 2 Cor. 1:4). If your local community is like mine, you might be facing potential shutdowns and closures again, and the time has never been better for sending a letter to stay connected as a church family. Who can you write to with encouragement today?
Glenna Marshall is married to her pastor, William, and lives in rural Southeast Missouri where she tries and fails to keep up with her two energetic sons. She is the author of The Promise is His Presence: Why God is Always Enough (P&R) and Everyday Faithfulness: The Beauty of Ordinary Perseverance in a Demanding World (Crossway, June 2020).