The Ministry Paycheck in a Pandemic
by Glenna Marshall
One by one, I crossed off each of my spring speaking engagements from the calendar on my fridge. One by one, I canceled every flight and received only vouchers in return. One by one, I tallied up the speaking fees and subtracted them from my family budget for the year. No new back doors to replace the broken ones in the living room, no dent in the stack of medical bills, no new A/C in the family van, and maybe no on-time regular bill payments.
Like everyone else, my life has been affected by the global pandemic of COVID-19. I’m not sick, nor is anyone in my family, and I’m grateful for that. But if I’m being honest, the financial repercussions of shelter-at-home orders, grounded flights, and closed church doors means that half of my yearly salary as a writer and speaker just went down the drain.
I’m a pastor’s wife, too. Giving is down in our church as it is in many others. And I get it—people aren’t giving when their own salaries are shrinking right before their eyes. As both a pastor’s wife and a woman in ministry, I have felt the tugging of anxiety at the edges of my heart. How will we pay our bills? What if we have an emergency? We’ve already lost one stream of income; what if we lose the other?
Because we’re a ministry family, we’ve never accrued tons of savings. Building a financial buffer isn’t an option for a lot of ministry families. Though they’ve served the local church for decades, some ministry families still live paycheck-to-paycheck when there isn’t a global pandemic or economic recession going on. Thus, when giving is down or events are canceled, the speaker, the pastor, and the ministry family are left grappling with the fact that financial ruin could be just around the corner.
The day I began canceling anticipated speaking trips and trimming our budget as much as I could, I knew I was about to go to battle in my mind. Part of me wanted to panic (and truly, panicking felt like a valid response in the moment!), and part of me wanted to believe everything was going to be okay. Before I could pick a side, I could almost hear the Lord beckoning me to remember that everything I have is His. My bank account—His. My possessions—His. The stretch of now-empty days on my calendar—His. And if I had cattle on a hill, they’d belong to Him, too. I belong to Him, and I can trust Him to provide for me. So, rather than spin a story of catastrophe and fear in my mind (which is my normal response), I decided to watch and wait and see how the Lord takes care of us.
Jesus talked a good bit about provision and worry. He knew we’d struggle to trust Him for what we need. He anticipated our mistrust and fear and answered it with a call to look at how much the Lord cares for us. I love how Jesus calls us to look away from the problem and toward the character of God instead.
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life…Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you even Solomon in all his glory was no arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more cloth you, O you of little faith? Therefore, do not be anxious…your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first His kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:25, 28-33)
Where I live in Missouri, spring has made a grand entrance with blossoming trees, deep azure skies, and thick, lush grass. It won’t last. The petals fall off in a few weeks, the grass will soon frizzle under summer’s sun, and the crystal blue of the sky will haze over with humidity come July. The Lord knows this and still he has cloaked his creation in beauty and wonder. How much more does he value you than spring blossoms and blades of grass? So much more. He knows what you need, and while you might experience lean times of legitimate need, the Lord cares for you even in want. He’s caring for you right now, though you might not see it.
As I’ve reflected on what God might want me to learn during these financially shaky days, I’ve been reminded that anytime he calls us to suffer in ministry, he is teaching us to lean more heavily on him than on our abilities or resources. When he calls us to live hard days, he is helping us learn empathy so that when our church members suffer we’ll know how to comfort them (see 2 Cor. 1:3-4). When he asks us to look to him for every provision, he is teaching us contentment and certainty that he will never leave or forsake us (see Heb. 12:5). He might be leading us to make our needs known to brothers and sisters in Christ, even though it rubs against our self-sufficiency. He might use the uncertainty of a ministry paycheck to train our hearts to look to him for every need we can think of.
Though I don’t know what’s on the other side of this pandemic, I know that the Lord will be sufficient for us. Though I fear we’ll spend years cleaning up a financial implosion, I know that I can trust the Lord even with the fallout. If you’re feeling anxious or stressed about the uncertainty of your ministry paycheck, know that God is not surprised by this. He isn’t anxious or stressed. He loves you and knows what you need. Call on the Lord with your anxiety and fear about the present and future. He cares for you.
Glenna Marshall is married to her pastor, William, and lives in rural Southeast Missouri where she tries and fails to keep up with her two energetic sons. She is the author of The Promise is His Presence: Why God is Always Enough (P&R) and Everyday Faithfulness: The Beauty of Ordinary Perseverance in a Demanding World (Crossway, June, 2, 2020).