Hope in Uncertain Times
By Kellye Carmack
On the evening of December 31st, 2019 my husband and I ended the year with our annual New Year’s Eve tradition: Chinese carry-out and a quiet evening at home. We put on our pajamas and settled in front of the tv to watch that giant ball drop over a mass of cheering people on the streets below. While wrestling our fingers around chopsticks and pieces of general tso’s chicken we talked about our hopes for the year ahead. We casually talked through a list of ‘wants’ and ‘maybes’ that had been on our minds for some time. Maybe we would replace our old jeep, move closer to family or buy our first home. We unfolded our plans for ministry and work in our local church and reaching our community. I wanted to learn a new hobby, like crocheting or bread making, and maybe retile our kitchen floor. We talked mostly though about our desire for children and how starting the process to adopt a few months earlier had renewed our hope that we might someday be parents. We looked around our living room and imagined the mess of toys and the sound of giggles that we had wanted for so long. We went to bed that night with that refreshing optimism that often accompanies the beginning of new year. Exciting new possibilities could be just around the corner.
A few months later nothing looks as we had imagined. The COVID-19 pandemic pulled the rug out from under us. Our daily routines have shifted into a new and sometimes stressful rhythm. Our ministry plans have been put on hold. Our ideas for reaching our community have been squashed by social distancing and ‘healthy at home’ orders. Our thoughts and prayers have been occupied with worrying about the elderly, the sick, and those who have loved ones in the hospital. Our adoption plans have been delayed. Like so many, we feel stuck in a place of anxiety, stress, and uncertainty. A place where the comfort of normalcy and the surety of our plans have slipped quickly through our fingers.
I’m sure most of you reading this can relate. When this year began you probably didn’t imagine yourself in these difficult and strange circumstances. Maybe many (or even all) of the pieces of your life have been jostled around and you wonder where they will land when they fall back into place. You look to the future and wonder what impact (both short and long term) this pandemic will have on your life. Perhaps during this season you have accumulated a collection of losses and disappointments that have left you feeling empty. Where do we rest our hope in these trying times?
In the years that my husband and I have struggled to have children we have learned a lesson that has given us strength during our long days in quarantine. Through years of miscarriages and infertility we have learned that our hope cannot be contingent on the fulfillment of our desires but on the person of Jesus Christ. Through one heartbreak after another, He has been near us. Every time we felt like we couldn’t take any more grief we found a new supply of mercy waiting for us. When we reached out to Him with empty hands, He filled them to overflowing. Not with what we asked for, but with what we needed far more deeply than anything we knew to request. He has repeatedly filled the vast holes of our disappointments with Himself.
Today, perhaps more than ever, you have situations that you hope will change but no guarantee that God will change them the way you have asked. You feel like all you can do is pray, hold your breath and wait. The good news that you can be sure of is Jesus will never leave you. Your circumstances can change in an instant, but Jesus is always good and never changes. Maybe you look at the coming weeks and months and worry about the possibility of sickness or job loss. Jesus is not contained by time, He is already in those future trials that you cannot see, waiting to hold and comfort you when you arrive. And you can be sure that He is faithful to lay out all of your circumstances in a way that can allow you to see Him with a little more clarity. In doing so, He will give you the richest treasure of all, Himself.
Kellye Carmack is the Women’s Ministry Director for Practical Shepherding. She has an undergraduate degree in Biblical Studies and a master’s degree in Biblical Counseling. She served as a missionary in Western Europe for two years helping to share the hope of Christ with women in difficult situations. While in seminary, she met her husband Craig and they are both on staff at their church in Louisville, KY. She loves helping women discover the unique ways God has gifted them to serve the church.