Ministry Wife: Your Ministry Matters
By Glenna Marshall
From where I sit, most of my ministry as a pastor’s wife has been unseen. If you asked church members what it is that I actually do, they’d likely reply with the things that are visible: I play the piano every Sunday, I volunteer at our weekly outreach program to kids in our community, I get the bulletins ready each week. Simple, visible stuff.
But, most of my ministry isn’t seen. It mostly looks like prayer and individual encouragement. Most of what I do as a pastor’s wife isn’t seen by the group at large. That’s likely true for you, too. And in today’s social media hungry culture, if your ministry isn’t seen, it probably doesn’t seem important to others. Or it might even seem like you’re not doing “enough.” But how can you chart a graph of prayer and encouragement? How do you maintain humility while announcing the ways you’ve served others? How do you post on Facebook the things you do to serve that really can’t—or shouldn’t—be shared?
“Cooked an extra lasagna for some new members—my kitchen is trashed but everyone’s fed. Love to serve!”
“Spent an hour praying for my church family this morning! #intercession”
“Gave my entire Monday evening to a crisis marriage counseling session with my husband and the Smiths from church. #toughtimes #marriageishard”
“Tried to reach out to some fringe church members but was rejected. Again. Why does it feel so personal?”
“Wore both my mom and dad hats every day this week! So tired of sharing my husband with an entire congregation. #exhausted”
You can’t post that stuff. You can’t share some of it because of confidentiality, and even if you could, you probably shouldn’t. We don’t serve for accolades. We serve because we love Jesus. Your ministry, however seen or unseen by people, matters to Him. Your quiet faithfulness to Christ as you love your church members through background acts of sacrifice, service, and prayer is valuable to God. And it is His opinion that matters most.
It’s easy to grow weary when you serve or pray or love in quiet ways. Since our life in ministry is built around making the Lord’s name great instead of our own, we might sometimes feel lost or forgotten as we plod along in anonymity. We might feel pressure from church members to “do more” when we know our calendars are already full of things we can’t share online or in small groups. Here’s what I want you to know as you serve your Lord, your family, and your church: God sees your ministry and it matters to Him.
If that means standing on the stage and singing each week, it matters to Him. If it means quietly filling in for the absentee nursery worker again, it matters to Him. If it means listening to your husband’s sermon points and offering feedback, it matters to Him. If it means missing the sermon points because you’re wrangling your kids in the pew alone, it matters to Him. If it means making an extra pot of soup and leaving it on a sick church member’s porch without announcing that you did so to the church, it matters to Him. If it means agonizing in prayer for the sheep at the edge of the fold, it matters to Him. If it means scrubbing the toilets at church or picking up old bulletins off the pews on Monday morning, it matters to Him. If it means holding down the fort at home alone while your husband is tied up all week, it matters to Him. If it means sending a handful of letters in the mail or a few encouraging texts, it matters to Him.
The apostle Paul wrote the following to the church in Corinth:
“Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.” (1 Cor. 15:58)
Here’s what I love about that verse: the work of the believers mattered because it was for the Lord’s glory. What gave their faithfulness value was that it was rooted in God’s glory and in His strength. They weren’t serving for accolades but for the Lord. In His might, in His name, for His glory. In that way, no kind of ministry goes unnoticed or unvalued by the Lord. Whether your work is visible to the church or known only to God, it matters to Him that you continue in it.
Dear ministry wife, you might be feeling really underappreciated these days. Having months set aside for recognition and gratitude does not guarantee that you will receive thanks or acknowledgment from the people you serve week in and week out. But, those acknowledgments or notes of gratitude are not the reason you serve. You serve because the Lord has called you to this life in ministry. These are the days He has ordained for you right now where you are. In His sovereignty He set you in this specific place and time, and in His goodness He will uphold you and see the ways you obediently serve Him.
Your ministry matters because the God who has called and equipped you is faithful. He will not waste anything.
“He who calls you is faithful. He will surely do it.” (1 Thess. 5:24)
Glenna Marshall is married to her pastor, William, and lives in rural Southeast Missouri where she tries and fails to keep up with her two energetic sons. She is the author of The Promise is His Presence: Why God is Always Enough (P&R) and Everyday Faithfulness: The Beauty of Ordinary Perseverance in a Demanding World (Crossway, June 2020).