Songs of Encouragement: He Will Hold Me Fast
By Glenna Marshall
I remember the first time I heard the song, “He Will Hold Me Fast.” I remember because I wasn’t playing the piano that Sunday morning at church, which was unusual. I’ve played the piano nearly every Sunday morning for fifteen years at the church my husband pastors.
A friend was filling in that morning at the piano. I had both of my young kids in the pew with me, but I remember little else except for how much I was hurting. Grief picked at my heart. We’d just exited a season of intense suffering on every front: years of infertility, an adoption plan that went wrong with months of legal ramifications, financial devastation, a mysterious chronic pain disease, and a long period of church dysfunction. We had survived the illness and the adoption process and were living on a shoestring budget, but our personal sufferings seemed to cause problems in our recovering church ministry. Bearing the brunt of many misunderstandings, we were drowning in debt and loneliness.
We experienced so much sorrow that year. Even surviving some of the hard things like physical pain and the fear of losing a child, we felt isolated by our trials. Church members want their pastor’s family to be a continuum of support for them (and understandably so), but sometimes the pastor’s family walks through their own trials and sufferings. They have to turn inward to take care of life at home, and that can be an inconvenience to a church full of hurting families and individuals.
I was desperately lonely during that time. I didn’t feel that I could share my problems at church because I felt the church was ready for us to be back to normal as usual. But suffering can break you sometimes, and though many of the external stressors of our trials had dissipated, we were broken inside. Beaten down. Burned out. Mentally and spiritually exhausted. And to be frank, we thought about quitting ministry. A lot.
Standing in the sanctuary that morning with a heart full of loneliness and a head full of post-traumatic stress (for which we’re now in counseling), I listened to the words of “He Will Hold Me Fast” for the very first time. And I wept openly. Because if ever there were words that resonated, these words did: “He’ll not let my soul be lost/ His promises shall last./ Bought by Him at such a cost/ He will hold me fast.”
I felt like I was slipping beneath the depths of ocean waves that never stopped crashing over me. Loneliness. Financial Strain. Misunderstanding. Fear. Loss. Physical pain. Each wave hit with a rolling force, and I wondered who I’d be after the waters calmed. Would I still believe that the Lord was faithful? Would I still believe that the Church is worth fighting for? Would I have anything left in my weary heart to serve others with? How could we keep going with so little in reserve?
I just felt—empty.
But the Lord—He is always full.
And He pours out His love and grace lavishly on us when we need it. That Sunday morning, when a friend took my spot at the piano and taught the church a new song, I listened to the words and knew the Lord would use that song to help me persevere.
When I fear my faith will fail, Christ will hold me fast;When the tempter would prevail, He will hold me fast.
I could never keep my hold through life's fearful path;For my love is often cold; He must hold me fast.
He will hold me fast, He will hold me fast;For my Savior loves me so, He will hold me fast.
I wanted to give up our ministry, hide away somewhere, and lick our wounds. They were considerable wounds, to be sure. But they weren’t too much for the Lord to help us endure.
Those He saves are His delight, Christ will hold me fast;Precious in his holy sight, He will hold me fast.
He'll not let my soul be lost; His promises shall last;Bought by Him at such a cost, He will hold me fast.
He will hold me fast, He will hold me fast;For my Savior loves me so, He will hold me fast.
Because I am in Christ, I don’t have to worry if my faith is strong enough to endure suffering. God has made me His own, and my perseverance is sure because He who called me is faithful. He will finish the work He has started, and He will help me to persevere. My soul would neither be lost in the throes of pain and suffering, nor in their aftermath.
For my life He bled and died, Christ will hold me fast;Justice has been satisfied; He will hold me fast.
Raised with Him to endless life, He will hold me fast'Till our faith is turned to sight, When He comes at last!
He will hold me fast, He will hold me fast;For my Savior loves me so, He will hold me fast.
The gospel points to our hope in the resurrection. Jesus’s victory over the grave means that we, too, will have victory over sin, Satan, and death. While we walk this road of sanctification, we are held fast with hope that one day we will see Him face-to-face. And on that day, we’ll sorrow no more.
As people in ministry, we are not immune to the pain of sufferings and trials. Our churches might expect us to bear up differently than we do, but the truth is that we’re as human as any church member. If cut, we’ll bleed. If our pain is treated with condescension, we’ll feel hurt. If expected to simply “buck up,” we’ll feel lonely. We need our churches to help us through our own trials, but as many ministry families can attest, that isn’t always a reality. And yet, the promises of the Lord’s ever faithful presence are a great comfort at the intersection of suffering and ministry. He will bear us up when we feel we can’t go on. His promises will not fail us, His character will not change. He will hold us fast.
It’s been many years since we sang “He Will Hold Me Fast” for the first time at our church. My relationship with my church has healed many times over, and I can now sing the song without sobbing in defeat. The tears that spring to my eyes when we sing the song now are tears of thankfulness because the Lord did hold me fast. He did keep my soul steadfastly secure in Him. And I know that no matter the shifting, changing circumstances of life, He is ever sure. And He will hold me fast.
Glenna Marshall is married to her pastor, William, and lives in rural Southeast Missouri where she tries and fails to keep up with her two energetic sons. She is the author of The Promise is His Presence: Why God is Always Enough (P&R) and Everyday Faithfulness: The Beauty of Ordinary Perseverance in a Demanding World (Crossway, June 2020).