Ministry Wife: Look for the Gifts
Sometimes the burden of ministry is so heavy that we struggle to find spots of joy. So that we’re not overwhelmed by the suffering ministry often produces, we want to encourage you to shift your gaze to gratitude. The truth is, God is at work in your ministry. He has sovereignly placed you in your church at this moment in time. And He doesn’t waste anything. Sometimes it’s difficult to see, so we have to look a little harder. For our last blog post of Pastor Appreciation month, the Practical Shepherding Women team decided to share a few gifts they’ve observed and received in ministry as pastors’ wives.
From Kellye Carmack, Women’s Ministry Director:
When I think about the blessings in ministry, the one that sticks out the most for me is the people I have served alongside. It’s been a gift to work with mature believers who are seasoned in ministry. My first few years on staff at our church were shared with a number of men and women who had been serving for many years. It was such a blessing to have their example and guidance on a road that was unfamiliar to me. I cannot count the hours of conversations they had with me over coffee or meals as they listened to my questions and shared their wisdom. Many were willing to share their mistakes and regrets and offer encouragement for how to persevere. In each conversation I was able to glean a wealth of knowledge, tools, and ideas that prepared me for what was ahead. What a gift!
The people I have worked with have also become dear friends. Sweet friendships often naturally grow when you serve together. When I look back on the last 4-5 years of ministry I see time after time when our staff and volunteers were in the church preparing for a yard sale, passing out hot chocolate in the parking lot, or setting up for an event. Those were often times when we learned more about one another as everyone’s gifts and abilities rose to the surface as the project unfolded. Those times of serving together also fostered laughter and good conversation. One of my favorite things we do every year is Christmas caroling. Every December, a group from our church packs into a few cars and we visit our widows and shut-ins and sing Christmas carols in their yard. It’s such a blessing to those we visit and a rich time of fellowship for the rest of us.
Ministry is hard, but it affords us the opportunity to receive one of God’s richest gifts—deep and eternal friendships.
From Cara Croft, Director of Counseling Ministry
When we first started at our current church, we were faced with a lot of opposition. It was a time of stress and discouragement. My goal in all of this was to protect my children so that they did not see the conflict. I did things such as avoiding the business meetings because there was no nursery, and my children sat with me through everything.
In the midst of the conflict and chaos came a very sweet blessing. There was an elderly woman in our church by the name of Mildred. Mildred was a fiery woman, full of strong will and opinions on how things should be in the church. She would often push back on my husband and what he was trying to do. Her personality was such that she resembled one of my children. At the time one of my daughters was two years old and full of that same feistiness and will. Despite the conflict with my husband, Mildred really took to my daughter. She would spend every Sunday talking to her and encouraging me as I struggled to figure out how to raise that independent two-year-old. Mildred referred to my daughter as her “beautiful friend” every single Sunday. My daughter grew up hearing that every week and she grew to love Mildred like a grandmother. She would make special gifts to take to Mildred and when she started dating, she would take the guys over to get Mildred’s approval. It was such an encouragement to see one of the disgruntled church members take in one of my children ever so sweetly. It was a blessing that was unexpected in the midst of a really difficult situation.
Mildred recently passed away. The family, desiring to honor their special relationship, asked my daughter to speak at her funeral. It was another moment that reminded me just how much Mildred loved my daughter and how much my daughter loved her. Ladies, be encouraged to look for the blessings, even in small ways as they may grow into something that is unexpected.
From Glenna Marshall, Social Media Director
We’ve been at our church for over fifteen years, and if I’m honest the first twelve years were absolutely brutal. We lost so many members for one reason or another, and even in the transition to more peaceful years, I’ve suspected that the remaining members resented my husband and me for putting the church through such turmoil. Even though we made many mistakes early on (and we still make plenty!), we were gutted by the opposition and abandonment we endured. But recently, I’ve seen some things in our long-time members that have surprised me.
Recently, a long-time elderly member of our church lost her husband. This lady has been at our church longer than we have, and she witnessed every ugly thing that happened. She lost friends who left our church in a huff, and quietly, she remained in her spot on the back pew. After her husband passed away in a nursing home, she scrambled to make funeral plans, and of course, COVID made everything a bit difficult. My husband took a lot of calls to help her get things planned and to offer comfort. The day before the funeral, my husband was finalizing the service and sermon with this lady, and they hung up the phone after getting all the details lined up. Immediately, the lady called my husband back. She wasn’t calling about the funeral. She told my husband, “I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while that I’m so glad you stayed. I know all those years were really, really hard. I lost a lot of friends who left the church, but I know it was hard on you and your wife, too. I am surprised that you stayed—it had to have been really hard. But I’m so glad you did.”
Fifteen years of ministry in one church have meant that we’ve seen a number of people move on to other churches or leave the church altogether. We’ve also buried many saints who are now with the Lord. The losses can feel so numerous that we carry around a perpetual feeling of failure, but every now and then, the Lord gives us a glimpse of what He’s doing behind the scenes. Our faithfulness, even when it doesn’t feel like much, matters. And the faithfulness of those who have stayed through the long haul means more than I can say.
Ministry wives, as we wrap up a month that sometimes makes us painfully aware of our shortcomings and perceived failures in ministry, we encourage you to look for the gifts. If you’re really struggling right now, consider making an actual list of the gifts God has given you in your ministry. Dig deep. Think of ways God has sprinkled in spots of joy into your ministry, even on the toughest days. Thank Him for sustaining you thus far, and pray for Him to keep upholding you as you serve Him by serving your church. He loves you, He sees you, and your ministry matters to Him.